Day 2

So I woke up and decided I had been eating far too many servings of hummos, pita, labna, cheese, bread, etc. In fact, my diet has strictly been composed of that, with a splash of coffee and cereal for good measure. At the risk of returning to the US with the infamous Hummus Tuchas, I ventured out for a jog in the neighborhood.

Jogging, when slightly jetlagged, and in the heat and nearly 90% humidity, is not an easy feat. I managed a good ten minutes at roughly a 7 mph pace before breaking down and walking for ten minutes. When I reached the boardwalk of the beach, I could only muster another 10 minutes at a slightly less daunting pace, before I resorted to walking the rest of the way home. I calculated the entire route would have been just under five miles, so perhaps I can work myself up to it over the course of the week.

I lieu of a gym, I located (online) a yoga studio several blocks from my place. I intend on checking it out tomorrow afternoon.

So I showered, got ready (complete in bathing suit) and headed out just after eating yet another meal including hummus, tahini, Israeli salad, labna, whole wheat bread and eggs to go to my first official Ulpan lesson. I don't really remember what I went through, all I know is my brain is now sufficiently fried. 2.5 hours flew by, and I do think I'm making progress, but I have a pile of about 100 vocabulary words to master before tomorrow's class, and a few listening exercises to work on.

Ran is great, and we had a great time working on my Hebrew. He clearly knows where my weak points are, but indulged me in a discussion of fruits and vegetables (in Hebrew it's each word that is either masculine or feminine, unlike Italian which one generally finds the fruits to be feminine and the vegetables are often, although not always, masculine, at least from the examples we selected in lesson. Although Ananas came up, is that masculine or feminine in Italian? I am not quite sure...). My first and favorite mistake in Hebrew (and yes I am sure there will be many of these). Ran asked me to translate the people in Israel are very nice. I started the sentence and noticed he started laughing. I said "ha anasim shel Yisrael..." It turns out, the proper word is "anashim" but I said instead, "the rapists of Israel are very nice". Not at all my intention. What, as opposed to the rapists in Italy?? Why on earth would there be a language that could so easily confuse people with rapists? It's a change of one letter, and the entire meaning is not at all what you anticipated!! This, my friends, is why I find Hebrew to be such an interesting and challenging language. It's what makes it beautiful, and what makes learning it entertaining.

After class I headed to the beach, intending on working on my Hebrew, but really unwinding instead. I lay out (with my spf protection of course...) on a little part of the beach that wasn't chock full of umbrellas and chairs (which, of course, you have to pay for, and with only 2 hours or so of viable sunlight, I had no intention of paying), spread out my freebee duty free towel I got at the airport in Zurich, and began to soak up the sun, at least in small part.

Some skinny-assed, tall, lanky, 20-something (on the lower end of the 20s range) decided to whisper sweet nothings at me in Hebrew, which I could only presume were dirty propositions as he walked on by, trying to take in every inch of exposed lilly-white skin on my body. I practically gagged in my mouth, and didn't flinch. I figured if he thought I was sleeping, he'd just leave me alone. Kind of like, if you hear a bear in the woods or see it but it doesn't see you, lie down and act dead. I figured, gee if it works with bears, then it should work with boys.

I had forgotten to take into account, even if said bear does suspect you're dead, it's likely to come around sniffing to make sure. About 30 minutes later, when I had tuned in to listen to my MP4 player in Hebrew (I figure why not a little practice on the beach), I felt the shadow of a body hovering over me, and, all the while pretending to be asleep, finally felt a foot on mine! I small nudge at first, and then a more powerful kick. As shocked as I was, I kept on playing dead, and the unfortunate fool gathered I was not interested in the least, and moved on up the beach, hoping for some better luck with another whitey-McWhiteson.

I began to take in my surroundings, look and see who else was enjoying this little stretch of uninterrupted beach. There was a man by himself, in a tiny mankini, lying on a towel nearby, chain smoking. From his color (nearly purple, the kind that reminds you of 70s game show hosts), dress, and simple mannerisms (and the way he was smoking) I gathered he was likely a French tourist hoping for some luck with the ladies in Tel Aviv. Bonne chance to him.

There were several groups of young adults, in their late teens and early twenties, hanging around in groups. A young couple. The girl was clearly either still in the IDF or else had just gotten out, her very pear-shaped body, skin stretched in a way it only can when weight is put on suddenly and then kept on for a while, but not having lost the hope of once returning to its natural state, belied her recent indulgences while dressed in uniforms that never seem to grow to tight. Her boyfriend, a lanky hairy youngster, refused to take off his shirt (not that I would have wanted to see those scrawny chicken arms), shorts, sneakers and socks, and all I could think of was, what a waste of a beautiful head of curls on him. I know thousands of women who would die for his hair, and look much better with it.

Some families were enjoying the late afternoon rays, complete with buckets and shovels and of course in the distance the distinctive sounds of matkot being played. I noticed two religious (exactly how religious I couldn't tell) women with their daughters playing in the sand. The women were conservatively dressed, long sleeves, long skirts, heads covered, while the little girls looked particularly chic and sun safe, wearing boogie boarding swimsuits, the kind that are more like unitards in fanciful florescent colors playing in the surf. (You can even see these women playing with their daughters in the surf in one of the accompanying photographs).

A man suddenly arrived with his bicycle. Now I fully anticipated that this heavy-set man was hoping to indulge himself in the refreshing waters of the Mediterranean (which I calculated to be somewhere near 72 - 74 degrees today), but I didn't understand what he was planning to do with his bike, and clothing, and exactly what he was intending to wear into the water. Just like that, he was stripping down to his skivvies, grey and already a bit transparent when dry, and I had the unfortunate luck to look up just as he was bending over arse pointed in my direction to adjust his pile of clothing on the spokes of one of his wheels. Off he went to frolic in the rolling waves. Please enjoy the photograph I snapped when he was leaving the beach. Here's a distinctive thanks to Becky for helping me turn the sound off my camera, he was none the wiser!

Later on, two girls, also dressed very conservatively, came and sat upwind from me. They were young, probably in their mid-teens, and very innocent, and began to sing together. Their voices blended into a thick and sweet melody, and I was instantly jealous that I didn't understand what they were singing and couldn't even hope to ever sing that beautifully, nor had I ever really embraced music as such. It was so sweet, until they changed over and started singing Lady GaGa's Fernando.

I continued to enjoy the sun a bit longer, reading nearly to the end of my book. Alex gave a call to see what I was up to and suggested I join him with friends for dinner. I made my way home (slowly) and showered and began working on my notecards. Over 100 words to learn before class tomorrow, and learn a song! Good thing I'll be on the beach in the morning.

I managed to speak to my friend Natalie who is finishing up exams this week. We are going to meet up next week when she's free. I haven't seen her in almost two years, so I am very much looking forward to seeing her.

I headed out to go to dinner, at an Indian Restaurant right by the London Minister. I somehow didn't pay attention, and before I knew it I was walking somewhere near the IDF headquarters in Tel Aviv, nowhere near where I needed to be. I ended up jumping in a cab and made it to the restaurant before Alex and his ex-girlfriend Vered arrived.

Dinner was a lovely evening, and Alex was so kind to have everyone speak in English. Near the end of the meal, I got a call from some unknown number, to find Patata della Moda, Annie Ojile on the other line. She was calling to fill me in on updates in her life, the exciting life of a tour guide in Rome, and thank me for her birthday card.

On my way home, I was enjoying the calmer rhythms of Tel Aviv at night, when Lior called. It was nice to have company when walking home alone. I feel safe, happy, and excited when I am here in Tel Aviv, not knowing exactly what the next turn has in store for me, but it was even nicer to be kept company on my short walk home.

Safe and sound at home, I'm looking forward to heading to bed, sleeping well, and waking up to attack the day ahead. 100 new words, here I come! Be ready to be defeated!